Bird in a Cage
by Alias-vendor
Summary: 'Then where, Neji' Sasuke yelled, 'Where? Behind a tree? Skulking in an alleyway' He accused, 'Hiding in a closet' His anger faded, his expression melting into a pained grimace. 'I can't hide anymore, Neji. Don't ask me to.'


A/N: Thanks for reading. Poem is mine. Stuff in italics are memories.

Summary: _'Then where, Neji?' Sasuke yelled, 'Where? Behind a tree? Skulking in an alleyway?' He accused, 'Hiding in a fucking closet?' His anger faded, his expression melting into a pained grimace. 'I can't hide anymore, Neji. Don't ask me to.'_

_Love is brutal_

_Love is ugly_

_And it is not always right_

_It doesn't care for race or gender_

_And it never gives respite_

_It can hurt more than it helps_

_It's both a pleasure, and a pain_

_But ask the fool and he will tell you,_

_That there's something there to gain_

It had been happening for weeks – months, even. He'd be meditating or training and suddenly _he_ would slip into his mind as swiftly and as silently as if he'd used Mangekyo Sharingan. But _he_ didn't have the Mangekyo, not yet and perhaps not ever, and he was nowhere near him. He couldn't focus anymore, he couldn't think – couldn't _breathe_ – without thinking of _him._ He wouldn't even allow himself to think _his_ name. He couldn't. But it was there in his mind, whispering on the edges, reverberating inside his brain until it overlapped and all he could think about was _him_. It was killing him. He couldn't meditate, he couldn't train. He'd been so distracted that Lee had beaten him three times consecutively in a friendly spar – it was unprecedented! He could barely even focus the correct amount of chakra into his _Gentle Fist_. He was beginning to resemble a zombie, he knew because Hanabi had told him so.

'You look awful,' she had remarked to him, probably weeks ago now. 'Are you dying?'

He hadn't appreciated her child-like insight. But she was right. He certainly _felt_ like he was dying, and apparently his body reflected his mental state. Tsunade had even noticed – she'd banned him from missions until he "came back to life". It was probably for the best. The last mission he'd been assigned had been an absolute disaster. If it hadn't been for Shikamaru's quick thinking, he probably would've inadvertedly started a war. Luckily the Nara wasn't the type to brag. Especially not when he knew something was wrong. Yes, he knew. How could he not? He was far too smart not to put the pieces together. He'd pulled him aside after the narrowly averted disaster.

'It's killing him, too,' he'd said without his trademark lack of interest.

'_It_,' Neji had replied icily, 'is none of your business, _Nara_.'

'It becomes my business,' the Nara had replied, 'when it nearly screws up my missions.'

Now he had to put up with the Nara's knowing glances every time he came across him, which thankfully wasn't often. Thanks to his interference – unusual for a man who normally held the belief that people's problems were their own – he now had to attend weekly sessions with Sakura to assess his 'physical and mental state'. Hokage's orders. Until she gave him a clean bill of health, he was grounded.

'What's going on Neji?' She would ask in that saccharine sweet tone every time he came in to see her.

If he even answered her, the reply would always be a curt, 'nothing'. Usually he just submitted to the exam, answered any relevant medical questions in the least amount of words he could manage, and basically tried to pretend he was somewhere else. He could see it frustrated her, hurt her even. She was trying so desperately to help him, to get him to open up. He wasn't cruel, he didn't mean to cause her harm but she had to understand she was fighting a lost cause. He couldn't talk to her, couldn't talk to anyone. The only one who knew what was going on, besides of course the problem _himself_, was the Nara and Neji would gouge out his own eyes before he'd talk to him. It wasn't that he hated Shikamaru; just that he knew what he'd say. He'd already said it, after all. It wasn't something he wanted to hear because it wasn't something he was prepared to do.

'Neji?' His cousin's soft voice broke him from his thoughts, bringing a welcome, if brief, respite.

'Yes, Hinata?' He opened his eyes and relaxed from the meditation posture, drawing his gaze up to fix on her worried face.

'Dinner's ready,' she said timidly, though she'd long stopped stuttering when talking to him. He supposed he was only scary now because he resembled the living dead.

'Thank you, Hinata,' he closed his eyes again, 'but I'm not hungry.'

'Are you sure?' He didn't need to see her face to know she was biting her lip, 'you haven't eaten today…'

'Yes,' he said, perhaps a little curtly, 'I'm sure, Hinata.' He sighed and opened his eyes to make sure he hadn't hurt her, 'I appreciate you concern, but I am fine.'

'No you aren't,' she shook her head, 'you don't have to tell me what's wrong, Neji, but please don't lie to me.' Her gaze was sad, and he detected hurt festering beneath it.

'I'm sorry,' he looked away, wanting nothing more than to confide in her but knowing that he couldn't. He knew she would keep his secret, but he couldn't place that burden on her. She wasn't weak anymore but she didn't need his problems on top of her own. Especially not when his problems were so dangerous. It wasn't as easy as Shikamaru seemed to think it was. But then, the Nara didn't understand the intricacies of the Hyuuga family. Neither did _he_. They both thought it was Neji causing the problem - that he had suddenly upped and decided he didn't want to do it anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact he'd been told to stop, _ordered_ by his illustrious uncle. How he'd found out, he couldn't begin to fathom. They'd been so careful. Apparently not careful enough, for Hiashi had somehow known. What he was doing was a crime in the Hyuuga family. Tolerated, for the most part, in Konoha but a complete taboo where his family was concerned. The punishment was harsh - death. The silence caught up to him, he opened his eyes. Hinata had left sometime during his inner monologue, closing the door quietly behind her. He dropped his head into his hands, resting his elbows on his folded legs. Living was becoming a daily chore he struggled to suffer through. It didn't hold meaning like it used to. Nothing drove him anymore. He used to be fuelled by a need to prove himself, used to dive into anything and everything with an energy born from being callously overlooked by his Uncle. Now, he didn't even care. Once _he_ had entered the equation, Neji's whole world had begun to revolve around him. _He_ had been a new fuel, a better one. Someone who drove Neji to new heights because he believed in him and supported him. Now that _he_ was gone, there was nothing left to live for. Yet live he did, if only in the barest sense of the word. _Not gone_, he reminded himself, _pushed away_. His moping around, pitying himself, was pathetic. His pain was self-inflicted, every single bit of it. He'd committed the crime, now he had to pay for it. At least this way Sas – _he_ – didn't.

He stretched his sore muscles and got to his feet, brushing long strands of hair out of his face as he did so. The floor felt unsteady under his feet, an increasingly common phenomenon. He knew it was caused by his poor eating habits, knew that it meant his strength was waning dangerously. He placed a hand against the wall for support, and leaned heavily until the ground stopped moving and the walls were where they should be. He was pathetic.

'When Shikamaru told me you were killing yourself over this, I didn't believe him.'

The room swam as he moved far too quickly and settled shakily into a fighting stance. His body protested the effort, but he ignored it. He scanned the room for the intruder, his eyes settling on a familiar form. He was exactly as he remembered him, and yet there was something different. He knew the look in his eyes; it was the same as his own.

'Get out,' he croaked, dropping his arms.

'Now I see he was right,' Sasuke cocked his head slightly, his expression unreadable. His voice gave nothing away, but Neji's eyes never failed him. He detected the slight shaking, noticed the change in posture. He was upset. 'I just…want to know why.' From perhaps anyone else, it might've sounded like pleading.

'Out,' he said again, turning away. He couldn't even bear to look at him; it made the pain so much worse.

'No,' Sasuke's voice was firm, unwavering. He took a step closer, Neji moved further away. 'Not until I get some answers, Neji-'

'Please,' Neji walked to the window-sill and gripped it, lowering his head until his hair veiled his face. Why didn't he tell him? Why didn't he explain? Wouldn't it make everything easier? _No_, he decided, _it wouldn't_. If Sasuke thought he still loved him, then breaking away would be almost impossible. The Uchiha was nothing if not possessive and fiercely protective of what he considered his, and those he loved. If he knew Neji still felt for him, there would be no dissuading him.

'I don't…' he hesitated, it was harder to say each time, 'you know why.' He said instead.

'Apparently not,' Sasuke sounded angry, 'it doesn't make any sense.'

'What?' Neji sneered, 'that there's someone in the world who _doesn't_ want you?' It was cruel and unnecessary, but effective.

'Fuck this,' there was a bang as if the other man had hit something, 'fucking kill yourself for all I care. It's not even worth it.'

Neji didn't turn around until the sense of complete and utter loneliness overwhelmed him. When he did his eyes were drawn immediately to the fist-sized hole in the perfect lacquered wooden wall.

…~…

'Oy, Hyuuga.'

Neji steadfastly ignored the call, figuring that if he pretended not to hear and walked extremely fast in another direction, that the owner of the voice – known for his laziness – would simply give up. This time, he was wrong.

'Hyuuga,' Shikamaru called again, cursing under his breath as he broke into a run. 'Stop, damn it, you troublesome bastard.'

Neji wondered why he'd even left the compound. A walk had sounded like a good idea. He'd felt like the walls were closing in on him, as if he were being stifled by the very air he breathed. Everything he was supressing ripped at his self-control, boiling under the surface and waiting for a moment of distraction. He knew it was only a matter of time before he broke down, he just couldn't hang on much longer. In retrospect, what he'd done was plain stupid. As depressing a thought as eating was, he probably should've just done it. Now he was wasting away, and he had no one to blame but himself. Every day his resolve waned with his strength and it became harder and harder to even think of dragging himself out of it.

Suddenly he stopped dead, his limbs refusing to co-operate. _Damn that Nara bastard._

'Release me,' he commanded, wincing as he heard just how utterly weak his voice had become.

'Not until you agree to hear me out,' Shikamaru told him, the laziness usually associated with him completely absent. He was a man on a mission and Neji could see there was no refusing him.

'Fine,' he growled. Released from the jutsu, he turned to face the other ninja. 'What do you want, Nara?'

'I thought you should know that Sasuke left Konoha,' Shikamaru said simply, 'he's not coming back.'

'…what?' Neji felt his heart stutter, 'he…left?' He couldn't seem to comprehend it.

'This morning,' Shikamaru eyed him like he was a puzzle piece, 'he said he couldn't bear it any longer.'

'Why would he…why would he tell _you_?' He choked out.

'Why does it matter?' Shikamaru countered, 'according to you, you don't care for him. That's what he believes…' his eyes narrowed, 'me, however, I think there's something else going on here.'

'You would,' Neji choked back a startling laugh, 'but some things really are as simple as they look Nara.'

'Some,' Shikamaru agreed, 'but not this. Why break it off with him, and then starve yourself to death?'

'I'm not…' Neji began, only to be interrupted.

'Or how about _I_ tell you why,' Shikamaru stepped forward, into his space, 'obviously you still care for him. So my question is; why did you break it off?'

'You think you're so damn clever,' Neji growled, 'but there is so much you don't understand.'

'So help me to,' Shikamaru threw his arms in the air, 'or for fuck's sake stop moping around like it was Sasuke who dumped _you_. If you regret it, then say so.' He wiped a hand across his brow, 'God I swear I'm done with you troublesome bastards.'

'It's not that easy,' Neji spat.

'It isn't meant to be,' Shikamaru said, frustrated. 'Neji, what the fuck is so damn complicated?'

The world started spinning, the dull colours blurring together in a dizzy haze. Neji reached a hand out as if to grasp hold of something, anything, to tether him to reality. His heart was beating so fast he could barely make one beat out from the next. The gears in his mind were grinding to a halt, his brain finally giving up and starting to shut down.

'Neji?' He distantly heard Shikamarau curse.

His legs gave in and he collapsed expecting to hit hard ground, but was surprised when his descent was abruptly halted.

'Neji?' Shikamaru sounded worried. 'Can you hear me? Shit.'

He was so tired. His was struggling to keep his eyes open, to answer Shikamaru, but he just couldn't muster the effort. He needed to rest, and now seemed like a pretty good time. His eyes fluttered shut and he fell lax in the other Shinobi's hands.

…~…

'_I…I can't do this anymore,' Neji's head was bowed, his long hair covering his face. His hands were clenched, fisting in his clothes. Sasuke looked confused, as if his words barely even registered. _

_ '…what?' Sasuke moved closer, and brought a coarse hand up to gently lift Neji's chin. _

_ 'I…can't,' he gritted his teeth, shifting his head so that Sasuke's hand slipped from his chin. 'I can't do this anymore.' _

_ 'Do what?' The Uchiha folded his arms, his tone sharp. Neji couldn't tell if he was being deliberately obtuse or was truly that dense. _

_ 'Damn it, Uchiha,' Neji growled, almost wincing as the other flinched. He hadn't called him by his last name since they'd finally grown past their childish rivalry and become friends. To go back to it now, he'd known it would hurt him but he hadn't been prepared to see it firsthand. 'Do I have to spell it out for you?'_

_ 'Yes,' Sasuke demanded, his tone disbelieving, 'because I'm afraid I don't understand.'_

_ 'What is there to understand?' Neji countered, 'I'm done. __**We**__ are done.' He forced back the emotions that threatened to choke him and closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the consequences of his words. _

_ '…fine,' Sasuke said bitterly, 'if that's what you want.' _

_ 'It is.' _

_Neji watched, outwardly emotionless, as Sasuke searched his eyes one last time. The black-haired man's were narrowed in anger, but Neji could see the hurt swirling in their inky depths. _

_ 'Screw you,' Sasuke spat, spinning on his heel and vanishing. _

_Neji activated his Byakugan, waited until he couldn't detect one single living thing, and then dropped to his knees. He didn't cry – he was too proud for that – but it took every ounce of his willpower to keep from doing so. _

…_~…_

He felt as though he was floating on broken glass. He could barely move and it was so dark he couldn't see a thing. Everything hurt, but it was a slow, pulsing, pain and one that he could push to the back of his mind. He couldn't focus there was so much noise surrounding him. A cacophony of voices talking over one another; soft, rough, coarse, loud – he couldn't make any of the words out. A surge of pain shot through him, but he couldn't make out the source. It was a different pain to the rest; sharp and choking. He thought it might have originated from his chest.

'…too weak…' he could just make out, though it sounded miles away.

'…got to…Tsunade!'

Another sharp pain, this time he was sure it was coming from his chest. He struggled to move, but something was stopping him. He felt limp, boneless. The darkness was swirling around him, engulfing him. It was so empty, so silent. It was so…

…~…

'_Uchiha,' Neji nodded, ignoring the sudden rapidity of his breathing. _

'_Hyuuga,' Sasuke_ _replied, his voice frostily polite. The difference in his gaze was startling. Where once there had been such warmth, there was only emptiness. He was giving Neji the same expressionless, uncaring, look he usually reserved for the rest of the world. Gone was the crooked smile, the slight crinkling of his eyes, the softness that had hidden beneath his cool indifference. Now there was only hatred and pain. It killed Neji to know that he was responsible. _

'_Sasuke…' he said softly, almost reaching out to touch the man before him. _

'_Don't,' Sasuke turned, his eyes fierce. 'You have no right.'_

'_I know,' he whispered. _

…_~…_

'He's too weak.' Neji heard the strong, authoritative, voice sound from somewhere outside the darkness. It was clearer than anything else had been and he slowly felt himself rise to the surface. 'I've tried…'

'Then try harder.' He recognised his Uncle's voice, harsh and unforgiving.

'Hiashi Hyuuga.' The first voice grew louder. 'Did I miss someone appointing you Hokage? No? Then kindly let me finish my sentences.'

'My apologies,' Hiashi didn't sound particularly apologetic.

'As I was saying, I've tried to funnel chakra into his heart but he's too weak to take it. I don't know if there's much more I can do…'

Neji blinked, the world blurred before him.

'If he doesn't wake up soon, then…I'm sorry Hiashi.' He heard her footsteps recede. 'Call me if anything changes.'

'_What's going on_,' he tried to say, but found he couldn't quite make the words come out. His eyes flickered open; he could just make out faces. They swirled into one another, a montage of colours.

…~…

'_Neji?' He turned to see his Uncle striding towards him, 'is it done, then?'_

'_Yes, Uncle,' he bowed his head, folding his hands behind his back._

_Hiashi stared down at him, searching for any dishonesty or attempt to veil the truth. _

_ 'Good,' he said finally, 'it is better this way.'_

_ 'Yes, Uncle,' he said again, his tone very carefully neutral. Inside he was tearing himself apart, nothing was functioning properly. If he allowed himself one moment to dwell on the events they were speaking of, he knew he would break down. He turned to leave, stopping as a hand descended on his shoulder. _

_ 'Neji,' Hiashi waited until he turned to meet his gaze, 'what you were doing, with the Uchiha boy, it was wrong. You understand that.' _

_He hesitated, '…I do.' _

_ 'Then let us never speak of it again,' Hiashi removed his hand, 'as far as I am concerned, it never happened.'_

_ 'Thank you, Uncle.' _

_ 'You have a bright future, Neji, don't throw it away on people that are not important.' _

_ 'He __**is**__important,' Neji whispered, watching as his Uncle strode serenely away._

…_~…_

'…Hiashi?' His voice was low, softer than it had ever been, and he wondered if his Uncle would even hear him. He could make out his outline now that his vision had cleared, though the room was still dark.

'Neji?' His Uncle sounded relieved, 'hurry, call Tsunade.'

'On it,' someone answered and hurried off, presumably to fetch the aforementioned Hokage.

'What…what's happening?' Neji asked weakly, 'where am I?'

'You are at the hospital,' Hiashi explained, 'you collapsed. Your friend, the Nara I believe? He brought you in.'

'He's awake?' Tsunade swept into the room and straight to Neji's side. 'Can you hear me?'

'Yes.' He began to get up but was pushed back down.

'Stay still,' she pressed him into the bed, 'you have very little energy at the moment. You need to rest.'

He complied without fuss, far too tired to resist. After she had finished examining him she turned to his Uncle, her expression grim.

'I never expected it to get this bad,' she said quietly, 'when Shikamaru Nara first told me, I thought he was simply overworking himself. But this…' she shook her head, 'there's something else going on here. Hiashi, he's weak from lack of nutrition. Has he been eating properly?'

'I do not believe so,' Hiashi bowed his head, his shame evident, 'however I do believe I know why.'

Neji's eyes snapped open, 'Uncle!' He wouldn't tell, would he?

'This has gone too far, Neji.' Hiashi snapped, 'you need help. She must know.'

'She must know _what_?' Tsunade narrowed her eyes, looking from one Hyuuga to the other.

'Neji was previously involved in a…relationship of a romantic nature with the Uchiha boy.' Hiashi informed her, his voice cold. 'I requested that he end it.'

'Homosexuality is not a crime in Konoha,' Tsunade said sharply.

'That may be so,' Hiashi answered, equally as sharp, 'but it is considered so in our clan. I will not tolerate it under my roof.'

'I will not tolerate bigotry in my village.' Tsunade drew herself to her full height; it was an admittedly impressive sight.

'Tread carefully,' Hiashi's voice was soft but deadly, 'we are a very old and influential clan. I daresay many others would side with us on this matter.'

'Is that a threat, Hiashi?' She bristled, her expression furious. A lesser man would have cowered under her gaze.

'Not at all,' Hiashi said icily, 'merely a warning. How I choose to deal with members of my clan is my business alone, I request that you stay out of it. It is my right.' He added as if she needed reminding.

'Unfortunately I must bow to you on this matter,' she frowned, 'I hope you understand that you have more than just your nephew's happiness in your hands. You may have his life.' With that she turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

'Neji, you stop this now.' Hiashi commanded. 'This is pathetic; you bring dishonour to your clan.'

'Uncle,' he struggled to rise from the bed.

'Do not seek to return until you have overcome this…weakness.' Hiashi said coldly. 'Understand that the punishment for failure in this matter is severe. Do not disappoint me.'

'Uncle…' Neji watched as the man walked stiffly from the room without even a backward glance. He had tried so hard and still he had failed.

'I'll admit it is a _tad_ more complicated than I thought,' Shikamaru drawled as he entered the room.

'You heard?' Neji couldn't even bring himself to be indignant.

'I still don't understand why you couldn't tell Sasuke,' the Nara collapsed gratefully into a chair by his bedside, 'this whole damn thing would be a lot less troublesome if you had.'

'He left.' Neji remembered. He bowed his head, fisting his hands in the blankets.

'He may have stayed if he'd known he still had a fighting chance,' Shikamaru observed.

'He doesn't.'

'Troublesome,' he muttered, 'listen, Hyuuga. Sasuke's all but gone missing nin. As it stands, you and I are the only people who know. If he's not back soon, someone's bound to notice.'

'So go find him,' Neji turned to look out the window, avoiding the other Shinobi's calculating gaze.

'Don't play dumb, Hyuuga. It doesn't suit you. We both know that the only person who stands a chance of bringing him back is you.'

'I…I can't.' He didn't have to look at Shikamaru to sense his disappointment.

'Why not?'

'Because it's not that simple!' He yelled, then immediately felt ashamed. Shikamaru was only trying to help him. He just didn't understand.

'Why the fuck does that matter?' The Nara sat forward, his suddenly intense gaze fixed on Neji. 'Nothing is simple, so why should this be? It's not about simple or complex, it's about what's important to you. So let me ask you, Neji. What is more important to you? Your clan's bigoted views or the person you love?'

'I'll lose everything,' he said quietly.

'Look you don't have to confess your undying love, Neji. Just bring him back.' Shikamaru slouched back in the chair, waving his arm lazily. 'He isn't thinking clearly and by the time he does it might be too late.'

'Why do you care Shikamaru?' Neji surveyed the lazy Shinobi, 'you barely know him.'

'Troublesome,' the Nara muttered his favourite word, 'you know I ask myself that all the time? We're all a team,' he said finally, 'we have to look out for one another.'

'…you're right.' Neji admitted, but still he warred with indecision.

'Do you love him?' Shikamaru asked, 'is he important to you?' He didn't wait for an answer; the Nara rarely asked questions he didn't know the answers to. 'Then don't let him ruin his life. Could you honestly live with that on your conscience? If so, you're a much colder bastard than you've been given credit for. '

Neji shook his head. 'You know Shikamaru, you're not nearly as lazy or indifferent as you would have us all believe.'

'It's easier that way,' he shrugged, 'lower expectations.'

Neji shook his head in disbelief. 'Do you have a plan?'

'Always.' Shikamaru smirked. 'When he told me he was leaving I planted a tracker on him. Usually he would have discovered it, but I think he wanted to be found. By the right person, of course.'

'We'll see,' Neji said, 'I suppose I'm going to need your help getting there.'

…~…

_'Guess who.' A pair of hands clasped over his eyes quicker than he could move to avoid them. Deciding it wasn't an attack, he relaxed. Besides, he had a pretty good idea who it was anyway. _

_ 'Really, Sasuke?' He adopted his holier-than-thou tone, 'I swear you grow more childish every day.' _

_The hands slid down to his chest as his 'attacker' pulled him flush against him, tightening his hold into an intimate hug. He could feel hot breath ghosting across one of his ears, sending shivers down his spine. _

_ 'Damn,' Sasuke whispered, 'and here I thought I'd caught you off guard.'_

_Neji snorted, trying to remain aloof. The façade was ruined, though, by the rapid beating of his heart. It didn't matter how long he'd had to get used to the Uchiha, he still had the same effect on him. It would have been embarrassing if his very presence didn't thrill him to the core. _

_ 'You'll have to try harder than that,' he smirked, and then twisted skilfully out of the hold and darted away._

_ 'So that's how it's going to be.' A slow smile drew across the normally stoic man's face. _

…_~….._

Neji was jolted awake as the ground shifted beneath him and something – or someone – cursed loudly and creatively.

'What's going on?' He asked Shikamaru drowsily, dropping his forehead to rest on the other Shinobi's shoulder.

'Troublesome tree…' the Nara muttered. '…supposed to stay where they are…don't they have roots?'

'You ran into a tree?' Neji yawned, then realised where he was and what he was doing. He was being carried…by Shikamaru. How embarrassing.

'It moved,' Shikamaru insisted, halting on a large branch.

'I can walk from here,' Neji announced, trying to slide off of the admittedly comfortable back he was resting on.

'I'm sure you can,' the Nara remarked drily, 'but currently, we're running.'

'No, really…' he started only to be cut off.

'Just sit back and enjoy the ride,' Shikamaru began to run from one branch to the next, 'it's never going to happen again.'

Neji had to admit he was tired. However embarrassing the current situation was, no one was ever going to know. If Shikamaru threatened to tell, well then he'd have to bring up that incident with the tree. Safe in the knowledge of having counter blackmail, Neji drifted off once again.

…_.~…_

_ 'You should wear your hair out,' Sasuke remarked, weaving his long pale fingers through the strands of silken hair spread out across his lap. _

_ 'Why?' Neji looked up into his dark eyes, 'it's mostly a nuisance. I only keep it long because it annoys the elders.' _

_ 'Well I like it,' Sasuke said simply. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground with his back against a tall Sakura tree. Neji was lying down, his head resting on the other's lap. It was a tree they visited often for afternoons of solitude. Recently Sasuke had taken to releasing the Hyuuga's long hair from its bind and carding his fingers through it endlessly. Neji didn't understand that particular fascination, but he assumed it was similar to the one he had regarding the Uchiha's gravitational eyes. He sometimes felt he could stare into them for hours. He often did. There was always emotion burning in the dark depths, so intense and concentrated. The way Sasuke sometimes looked at him made him feel as if he were the only human being in existence. Knowing him as he did now, he couldn't fathom how he had once thought him emotionless and cold. The passion within him burned as brightly as that of Naruto, it was simply hidden better. Naruto wore his heart on his sleeve; Sasuke protected it from the world._

_ 'Then perhaps I will wear it out.' Neji watched the blossoms float gently to the ground as the wind brushed past the tree. _

_ 'Hn.' Sasuke's fingers brushed his cheek. 'Actually, don't. I like it better if it's just for me.' _

…_~….._

'Where are we headed, Shikamaru?'

'Some village at the edge of Sand,' the Nara answered, continuing to move skilfully through the trees.

'That will take days still,' Neji observed. 'What did you tell Tsunade?'

'Nothing.' Shikamaru admitted, 'but I left a note.'

'Great,' Neji sighed, 'then _you_ can deal with her when we get back.'

'Hmm, I don't think so Hyuuga.' Shikamaru sounded amused, 'When we get back I'm taking a good long nap.'

…_..~…_

'_How long are we going to do this?' Sasuke demanded. He was unusually ruffled, his dark eyes burning. _

_ 'Do what?' Neji couldn't draw his eyes from the man before him. He was so animated. He'd never seen the other man so worked up. He reached out and grabbed his wrist, tracing his fingers across the prominent lines on his palm. Sasuke's expression softened as he drew closer, tugging his hand from Neji's grasp so he could cup his face within them. _

_ 'This,' he placed a feather-light kiss on his lips. So light it seemed never to have happened at all. 'Us.' He raised a hand to brush stray hairs from Neji's face. 'Sneaking around like we're doing something wrong. I want…'He continued. 'I want them to know you're mine.'_

_Neji averted his gaze, unable to face him. 'Maybe we are,' he said softly._

_ 'Are what?' Sasuke slid a hand under his chin and lifted it until he was forced to look once more into burning depths. _

_ 'Doing something wrong.' Neji clarified, immediately regretting it when Sasuke stepped back in shock. Hurt swirled in his eyes and he clenched his fists._

_ 'Don't be stupid,' he stepped forward again and slid a hand around Neji's neck, drawing him in for a much more passionate kiss that left him breathless. 'How could this be wrong?'_

….~…

'Nara, you have a serious case of narcolepsy.' Neji said after Shikamaru had complained for the fifth time about a general lack of sleep being associated with their current mission. He had also listed the numerous places he would much rather be sleeping in at that very moment, than gallivanting around the forest. Of course he completely disregarded the fact that he had suggested the mission in the first place.

'No, I just appreciate the value of sleep.' Shikamaru defended, his tone amused.

'It would explain why you ran into the tree.' Neji pointed out.

'Except that I didn't. It moved.'

'If you say so.'

…~….

'_I have a mission.' Neji opened his eyes and looked up to see Sasuke standing before him. He looked…annoyed. He figured it must be an extremely boring, or low rank, mission if the Uchiha was so offended by it. _

_ 'What kind?' He asked, curious as to which. _

_ 'The long kind.' Sasuke settled down cross-legged, as he was, on the floor in front of him. He was so close his knees brushed Neji's, so he quickly glanced around to see if anyone was watching. Sasuke had been increasingly careless in public. The number of times they'd almost been discovered in somewhat compromising positions had escalated monumentally. Neji suspected a plot._

_ 'How long?' He gave up on even attempting to continue meditating. There was no way he could even begin to focus with Sasuke so close to him._

_ 'Two weeks.' He sounded disgusted by the prospect. _

_ 'Could be longer,' Neji said sagely. He was beginning to suspect the reason behind the Uchiha's reluctance. It was almost…cute. Though he would never say that out loud. Sasuke would probably maul him. He found it endearing that though the other man had no problem __**showing**__ him how he felt, putting it into words was another matter entirely. However he was miles ahead of Neji who found it equally challenging to both show and express his feelings._

_ 'Hn.' Sasuke made his typical response when he either couldn't think of a witty retort, or couldn't be bothered to. It was usually the latter; he had a quick mind when it came to insults and repartee. His pale fingers drifted from his knees to Neji's, tracing patterns along the curve of his patella. _

_ 'I was meditating, you know.' Neji told him, his breath hitching slightly._

_ 'Do you want me to leave?' Sasuke offered, though they both knew he had no intention of doing so. _

_ '…no.' Neji's eyes followed the deft fingers as they wandered closer to his thigh. _

_ 'Good,' Sasuke flicked his gaze up and smirked. He caught Neji's eye and held his gaze, his dark eyes alight. Almost as if some kind of gravitational force had caught hold of him, Neji leaned forward. His eyes never moved from Sasuke's, even as the other slid his hand up around his shoulders and to his neck. He was trapped in that gaze, drowning in the inky blackness. Slowly, Sasuke drew closer until his breath ghosted across Neji's lips. He threaded one set of fingers into Neji's hair, as his other hand continued to rest on his thigh._

_ 'Every time I look at you…' Sasuke said hoarsely, 'it's so hard…to resist.' He pressed their lips together gently, still murmuring as he did so. Neji could feel the vibrations of his speech. He wanted so badly to just let go, to succumb to the fire that was Sasuke's tender ministrations. But he couldn't. _

_ 'Not here,' he said, feeling the Uchiha's lips move in tandem with his own. Suddenly the tenderness was gone. The kiss turned bruising before Sasuke broke away and leapt to his feet. _

_ 'Then where, Neji?' He yelled, 'Where? Behind a tree? Skulking in an alleyway?' He accused, 'Hiding in a fucking closet?' His anger faded, his expression melting into a pained grimace. 'I can't hide anymore, Neji. Don't ask me to.' He dropped to his knees. The expression in his eyes cut Neji to the quick. He couldn't bear to see him in pain, but neither could he relieve it. _

_ 'I can't,' he said softly. He looked away, sure that if he could see the man before him he would crack. 'I'm sorry.' _

_ 'So am I.' He left. _

_Neji watched his retreating back, it had begun. They were falling apart. Sasuke couldn't hide, Neji had to. Two very opposing views, with no clear solution. Neither would back down, but something had to give. Neji knew it would be their relationship. It would cave in like a building with no support pillars and he was powerless to stop it. _

…_.~…._

Neji woke with tears in his eyes. He hastily blinked them away, completely prepared to deny their very existence if Shikamaru had noticed. He hadn't. The Nara was predictably asleep, propped up against a tree, his head lolling forward against his chest. He looked ridiculous with his mouth slightly open and had Neji any kind of recording device he could have added it to his growing list of potential black mail material. He didn't so he simply committed the scene to memory; he could laugh about it later with…Sasuke. All roads led to him, or rather all thought processes. They were close now, if Sasuke was still in the village – which Shikamaru assured him he was –then they would catch up to him in half a day. Neji supposed he would have think about what he was going to say. Sasuke was stubborn and proud and because he was hurting he would be almost unapproachable. He knew because that was how he was feeling and for all their differences, they were remarkably similar. Neither of them dealt particularly well with rejection. It was hard enough to talk about their feelings, let alone be rejected because of them. It left one vulnerable and not even Shinobi could defend against emotional insecurity. It had a way of slipping under one's defences as if they weren't even there. They had both made themselves vulnerable to the other the day they had first realised the attraction brewing between them.

…~….

_Neji was standing watch. He was sitting, meditation style, high up in the branches of a nearby tree, his thoughts in absolute turmoil. Something was happening, something he was powerless to stop and increasingly unable to resist. He looked down to the small campsite where his team were sleeping, safe in the knowledge that his eyes would miss nothing. They were on a mission. It was B-grade and relatively simple if everything went according to plan. Of course, nothing ever did. However this time it wasn't the mission that went awry. There were three of them on the mission; Neji, Shikamaru Nara, and Sasuke Uchiha. Even the name had him on edge. Something was different between them. Something subtle but important, and Neji couldn't quite figure out what. Perhaps he didn't want to. He hadn't had a lot to do with the Uchiha in the past. A few missions here and there, but lately he'd begun to affect him in ways that Neji knew would simply lead to trouble. Things he would do, and say, that Neji was never quite sure were entirely accidental. Walking too close and accidentally brushing arms, just little things that sent a jolt of electricity running down his spine. He couldn't tell if it affected the Uchiha the same way, he never seemed to notice. If Neji pointed it out, he would simply apologise. There was no expression on his face, but Neji often felt he saw something in his eyes. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and returned his attention to his surroundings. Something was off. He glanced down at the campsite; the Uchiha was missing. _

_ 'Over here.' A low voice sounded behind him. _

_Neji turned, veiling any shock he felt, and saw him leaning casually against the trunk of the tree. _

_ 'Lost in thought?' The Uchiha smirked but there was warmth in his eyes._

_ 'Somewhat,' Neji replied. Embarrassment flared. He was a Shinobi, he wasn't supposed to be able to be snuck up on – even by the admittedly talented Uchiha. _

_ 'It happens.' He said unexpectedly. _

_Neji watched him curiously, surprised that his tone was devoid of any kind of mocking. Had he been the one to catch the Uchiha off his guard, he didn't think he'd be as kind. _

_ 'What are you doing here?'_

_ 'I don't know.' The Uchiha flicked his gaze to a point of space somewhere behind Neji. _

_Something was off. Neji had the distinct feeling that the other was hesitant and almost…nervous? Traits usually not associated with the stoic man. _

_ 'Then what do you want?' There was no sharpness in his voice, but the other man bristled all the same. _

_ 'Do you want me to leave?' He demanded._

_ 'No.' Neji said quietly._

_Those compelling dark eyes fixed themselves upon his face and searched – for what, Neji didn't know. He stared back, uncertain and distinctly uncomfortable with the close scrutiny. Whatever it was, the Uchiha seemed to find it for he relaxed once again. _

_ 'You feel it, too.' He said. It sounded like it should have been a question, yet wasn't._

_ 'Feel what?' Neji caught his breath as the other man moved suddenly. Neji had to exercise all his self-control not step back instinctively. He had a feeling it would upset, perhaps even offend. But the close proximity was unnerving. His heart was beating double time and his instincts were warring with the flight or fight response. This was not a situation he'd ever thought he'd find himself in. _

_ 'This.' The Uchiha lifted his hand and placed it against Neji's chest. His heart fluttered against the other man's fingertips, and he glanced away unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. 'Look at me, Neji.'_

_He obeyed almost without thinking, shocked to hear his given name slip for the first time from the other man's lips. It was a barrier broken, a familiarity assumed._

_ 'Don't be afraid,' Sasuke said softly, bringing his hand up to gently touch his cheek._

_ 'I am not afraid.' Neji couldn't even muster up the proper amount of indignation; he was so lost in the other's gaze. He was afraid of nothing. _

_ 'I am.' Sasuke admitted. Apprehension was clear in his eyes as if he expected to be rejected or turned away. 'I'm afraid of you.'_

_ 'Me?' Neji somehow doubted he meant it as a Shinobi. But then what?_

_ 'Of what you do to me,' he broke the gaze, his hand stilling, 'of what you could…'_

_ 'I don't…' he trailed off; he knew what the Uchiha was saying. He didn't want to believe it, though he couldn't deny it. The other man's very presence was intoxicating; everything about him thrilled Neji to the core. It was strange and unexpected and so powerful he could hardly fight against it. His body knew what it wanted, though his mind was resisting futilely. _

_ 'You do,' Sasuke told him. 'I can tell that much.' He leant forward and brushed their lips together lightly._

_Fire raced through his veins. It was unlike anything he had experienced before, so overwhelming and sensual. He couldn't help himself, and neither, it seemed, could the Uchiha. Almost at the same time they pressed into one another, hands grasping blindly. His heart was beating so fast and he could barely breathe properly, though it became a secondary priority when compared with the need to have the other man's lips pressed against his own. It was madness, he knew, to want the other as he did. But it was beyond his control. Gravity was pulling him towards him with relentless force and in that moment he felt as if the outside world ceased to exist. _

…_~…_

There was a loud caw from somewhere nearby, an overly zealous crow eager to start the day. Shikamaru stirred from sleep, yawning lazily as he muttered '…troublesome birds.' He looked up at Neji, fully awake and fretting, and stifled another yawn.

'Up early Hyuuga.'

'Couldn't sleep,' Neji said tersely. He was being haunted by Sasuke. The man was in his every thought, and even in dreams he couldn't escape him. They were all memories, his dreams. Memories he didn't want to relive because they were so raw and painful.

'Troublesome.' The Nara frowned.

'For me, maybe.' Neji watched him yawn once again, 'though I don't see how it affects you.'

'You being up affects me,' Shikamaru sighed and ran a hand through his spiky hair. 'No doubt you're raring to go.'

'When did you figure it out?' Neji asked suddenly. He knew Shikamaru would understand his question referred to something other than what they were previously discussing. He was right.

'Probably before you did,' the Nara snorted, 'you were completely oblivious, and Sasuke was painfully obvious.'

Neji mulled it over. Something occurred to him.

'So that means..?' He ventured.

Shikamaru snorted again, 'yes, unfortunately.'

'How embarrassing.' Neji muttered. So Shikamaru had been awake that first time they'd…damn, that _was_ embarrassing.

'More so for me, than you I imagine.' The Nara teased.

'I doubt that,' Neji said wryly. 'How much did you…hear?' He didn't even want to know the answer, but morbid curiosity pushed him on.

'Nothing,' Shikamaru raised his hands, 'seriously. I made myself scarce.'

Neji sighed in relief. Well that was good.

'We should go,' he told the Nara, who was still propped up against the tree.

'I knew you were going to say that,' Shikamaru groaned.

….~…

_ 'I challenge you, youthful team-mate Neji!' Lee declared, extending his fist out and beckoning to him. 'This time I will beat you, or I will run ten thousand laps around Konoha.'_

_Neji sighed; he wasn't really in the mood for sparring. Especially not with Lee._

_ 'An excellent idea, Lee.' Gai, his sensei, pushed him forward, 'Neji accepts.'_

_Neji most certainly did __**not**__accept; but it seemed he had no choice in the matter. He adopted his traditional fighting stance, sinking lower in his position and centering his weight. Behind him he sensed Gai and Tenten moving out of the way. To his left he knew Sasuke and his team occupied the nearby practice yard. It was one of the reasons he was so distracted that morning. It had been three days since he'd returned from __**that**__ mission and he hadn't seen the Uchiha since. He was confused and admittedly a little nervous about what had happened. He didn't know how to act around him anymore. All he knew was that everything had changed and he couldn't look at him the same way. He was hyperaware of his presence and it was killing his concentration. He would probably lose the fight if he didn't focus. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and tried to block all thoughts from his mind. When he felt significantly calmer and clearer, he opened his eyes and fixed them on his opponent. _

_ 'Ready, Lee?' Gai asked._

_ 'Yes, Sensei.' Lee nodded, his gaze never shifting from Neji. _

_ 'Ready, Neji?'_

_Neji nodded in the affirmative and Gai gave the signal for the match to begin. Lee shot off and launched straight into a series of ultra-fast jabs that Neji blocked easily. He knew Lee's fighting style like the back of his own hand; he'd fought against him so many times. He was fast, but Neji's defence was faster. He blocked one strike and twisted his wrist, sliding his hand down Lee's arm and yanking hard. Lee went flying over his head but twisted into a summersault and landed agilely on his feet. Neji settled back into defence and waited for the next strike. Lee didn't disappoint. He raced at Neji, sweeping around him at the last moment and attacking from behind. Neji spun and blocked the kick, jabbing his fingers with practiced ease into the Chakra point of his leg. He funnelled no Chakra into the move however, so it did little but cause pain. He rarely did when sparring; he wasn't fighting to kill after all. The jab was simply to let Lee know that he'd got him. Neji released his leg and the two squared off again. _

_ 'You are formidable as always, Neji.' Lee bowed his head, 'however today I shall be victorious.' _

_Neji had used to think his teammate's constant optimism was ridiculous and childish. Now he respected it for what it was; an overwhelming will to achieve victory no matter the cost. He inclined his head and waited for the other to make a move. He never had to wait long; Lee was fairly impatient. He exploded into action and darted right, then left, in an attempt to confuse Neji. Neji tracked his movement with quick eyes and kept his guard up, waiting for the tell-tale movement that would give away his next attack. Suddenly a flash of blue-black caught his eye and he turned slightly to see the Uchiha watching, mere meters away. His concentration shattered and in the next moment Lee gained the upper hand. He launched himself in a series of fast-paced punches and kicks that, to his immense surprise, all landed. Neji went flying, much to his disgust, and slammed into the ground. He didn't even want to get up he was so embarrassed. None of those hits should have even nearly brushed him, let alone made contact. He would never hear the end of this. He got to his feet, still winded from the blows, and headed back over to the jubilant Lee._

_ 'I did it!' He crowed, jumping up and down with his arms flailing in the air. Gai joined him, tears streaming from his eyes. _

_ 'You did it,' he gushed, 'oh Lee, you beautiful, amazing….so proud.' _

_**So**__ embarrassing. A low chuckle caught his attention and he turned to see Sasuke hiding a smile. He scowled at the man and stormed past him._

_ 'Neji,' Gai called. 'For your loss you must run ten thousand laps around Konoha.' _

_ 'I never agreed to that,' Neji protested. _

_ 'Now, is complaining youthful? I think not. You may begin, Neji.'_

_Neji cursed the Uchiha under his breath. It was all his fault. He glared once more in the aforementioned man's direction – who, he noticed, had given up trying to hide his amusement – and started to run. If he saw him again, he was going to kill him. _

_ 'Neji.' _

_It was official; the universe hated him. _

_ 'Go away,' he said curtly. _

_ 'Aww, are you upset?' Sasuke teased, 'it was pretty embarrassing.' _

_ '__**You**__ cost me that match, Sasuke.' Neji growled and stopped abruptly. He folded his arms as Sasuke also stopped and raised a brow curiously._

_ 'How do you figure that?' _

_ 'You…you distracted me,' Neji mumbled. _

_This time Sasuke didn't even bother to disguise his laughter. Neji, already feeling embarrassed, turned away his cheeks reddening. _

_ 'Wait,' Sasuke grabbed his shoulder, 'let me make it up to you.'_

_The contact was already sending shivers down his spine. How long, he wondered, until the simplest things the Uchiha did would stop having such an effect on him? Sasuke drew closer until Neji could feel the heat emanating from him. He half-turned and they almost brushed noses. The Uchiha certainly had a thing for invading his personal space. There was tenderness in his eyes, though it was overshadowed by a wild passion that flickered in the inky depths. Neji glanced around; aware they were out in public._

_ 'There's no one here,' Sasuke whispered, his tone sending shivers down Neji's spine. Before Neji could protest, or otherwise dissuade him, his hands were tangling themselves in his long hair and his lips attached to his own. With that move Neji's self-control dissipated. He kissed back hungrily, his own hands roaming with an instinctual sureness that surprised him. Sasuke pushed him to the ground, somewhat roughly though it barely registered, and straddled him, never once breaking contact with his mouth. Footsteps registered dimly in his mind as something he should be worried about, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Suddenly Sasuke drew back, glanced hurriedly over his shoulder, and angled his body as if he were pinning Neji to the ground. His hands moved to Neji's throat and rested lightly there. He winked, though Neji still wasn't entirely sure what he was up to. _

_ 'Lee!' He heard a loud, very familiar, voice sail through the trees. 'There's something up ahead.' _

_ 'I agree, Naruto!' _

_Within moments the two had appeared beside them and Neji suddenly realised what Sasuke was doing. He played along, attempting to look as if he were struggling in the Uchiha's hold. He moved his own hands up to the other's neck as if they were in a stalemate. _

_ 'I think they're trying to kill each other,' Naruto observed. _

_ 'Neji!' Lee exclaimed, moving in to wrest Sasuke from on top of him, 'I will save you!' _

_ 'Why are you attacking Neji, Sasuke-bastard?' Naruto accused, offering to help Neji up. Neji raised a brow and leapt to his feet, then began dusting his clothes off. _

_ 'He insulted me,' Sasuke lied, shrugging out of Lee's hold. To anyone else, he would've looked emotionless. Neji, however, swore he saw a spark of amusement in his eyes. _

…_~….._

'Here we are.' Shikamaru said unnecessarily. He had stopped just outside the village.

Neji said nothing; he was a bundle of nerves. He knew that if he opened his mouth, something stupid would come out and ruin his reputation for ever.

'I'll wait here,' the Nara told him, leaning against the tree and sliding down to a seated position.

'You just want to sleep,' Neji accused.

'Yep.' He didn't even bother to keep his eyes open while they were talking.

Neji shook his head and turned his attention back to the village. He was somewhere in there.

'Hey, Shikamaru?' He asked quietly.

The other Shinobi grunted.

'…thank you.'

He opened one eye, 'don't screw this up.' The implied, _I'm far too lazy to clean up after you_ didn't go unnoticed.

Neji nodded and leapt down from the branch he was on, landing neatly at the base of the tree. He figured the best approach was simply to walk into the village. Sasuke would know of his arrival and would probably confront him. If he didn't, well he'd work plan B out if plan A failed. He walked through the gates. He was so tense he could practically feel his bones protesting. Every nerve was on edge, his body rigid with anticipation.

'What are you doing here?'

He spun around and flinched. There was a mask of anger on the Uchiha's face that he had never seen before. He briefly saw hurt flash in his eyes before Sasuke closed them off and scowled.

'Go away, _Hyuuga_.'

That hurt, perhaps more than anything else he could have said. It was a denial of familiarity, one that Neji knew he'd struck the other man with first. He deserved every bit of pain he was feeling, and tenfold more.

'I'm sorry.' He said, though it wasn't nearly an adequate enough summary of how he felt. 'Sasuke…'

'For what?' Sasuke cut in sharply, his expression darkening. It was clear he thought Neji's apology superficial – an attempt to get him to return, not a truth.

'Everything,' Neji said desperately, 'just…everything I've said, or done.'

The Uchiha gazed at him fiercely, his eyes narrowed and his mouth a tight, thin, line.

'…whatever.' He said finally, and turned to walk away.

'Sasuke!' Neji called after him, his voice choked.

'Don't call me that,' Sasuke was suddenly standing before him, almost as close as when they were intimate but there was no warmth in his gaze. His fists were clenched and he was gritting his teeth as if holding back a flood of words. 'You have no right…anymore.'

…~….

'_Uchiha,' Neji greeted him as he usually did. He was still somewhat uncertain about whatever it was that had begun between them._

'_Don't call me that,' Sasuke fell into step beside him. _

'_What?' Neji asked, confused. _

'_Uchiha,' Sasuke clarified. 'Other people call me Uchiha. __**You**__ can call me Sasuke.' He brushed his shoulder against Neji's._

'_Hmm,' Neji pretended to consider it. 'Other people call you Sasuke too, you know. How about Sasu?'_

'_Sure,' he agreed affably, 'if you don't mind me punching you every time you say it.'_

'_Touchy,' Neji raised an elegant brow, 'you could've said no.'_

_Sasuke just shrugged; his dark eyes mischievous. _

_ 'Okay.' Neji told him. _

_Sasuke turned to look at him, his gaze questioning. _

_ 'Okay…Sasuke.' _

…_..~…_

'I'm sorry,' he said again. His voice was hoarse, his eyes watery. He furiously blinked back the tears. 'I still…I love you.' It was the first time he'd said it – the first time either of them had said it, though Sasuke had often expressed it through his actions. They had both shied away from verbal clarification. They were Shinobi, after all, and particularly stoic ones at that.

Sasuke blinked at him and for a moment his expression was completely unguarded. But as quickly as it had happened, he recovered. His eyes narrowed and pained anger lined his features.

'Then why?' He growled. 'Why do this to me? Why drive me away?'

'Because what we were doing was _wrong_,' Neji yelled

'You still believe that?' Sasuke shook his head, disbelieving.

'Of… of course I do,' Neji looked away, '…it's true'

'It's fucking shit,' Sasuke looked ready to punch something, or someone. 'There was _nothing_ wrong about what we were doing. _Nothing_. We had as much right as _anyone_. Damn it, why can't you see that?'

Neji bowed his head, unable to face the truth of his words. It went against everything he'd been told, everything he'd been taught.

'It doesn't matter what I think,' he said finally. Watching the ground, he decided, was easier than seeing the hurt in Sasuke's eyes. 'Homosexuality is a crime in my clan.'

'Well screw them,' Sasuke said immediately. 'You never cared for them before.'

'It isn't that simple.'

'Yes, it is.' Sasuke said stubbornly.

'No, it isn't.' He was yelling without even meaning to. 'I can't disobey the elders, _can't_, not won't.'

'Why?'

In one fluid move Neji ripped off his headband. The curse seal glowed green on his forehead, a tiny mark that defined his life.

'Because of this.'

Whatever Sasuke had been expecting, Neji guessed it wasn't that. He looked shocked, confused.

'What is it?' Anger momentarily forgotten, Sasuke reached out his fingers to lightly brush the mark.

'It's a curse seal,' he said bitterly, 'a Juinjutsu placed on every branch member to remind us that we live to serve and protect the main branch. It can be activated, with a simple hand-sign, by any main branch member, for any reason. It keeps us in line.'

Sasuke's expression shifted from curious to furious in seconds.

'And the Hokage allows it?' He looked ready to murder the next foolish person to even blink at him.

'What can she do?' Neji scoffed. 'The Hyuuga's are the oldest and most influential clan in Konoha, we live by our own rules.' He had heard his Uncle say those very words to Tsunade at the hospital; he knew there was nothing she could do. Not without starting some kind of civil war – one she could not afford.

Sasuke was quiet for a moment; he seemed to be piecing something together.

'Is that why..?' He ventured, his tone not quiet hesitant but less confident than usual. Neji sensed that much hinged on his response. No matter how composed, or cold, the Uchiha acted, right now he was emotionally vulnerable – at least as vulnerable as Neji, and perhaps more so.

He nodded. 'Hiashi found out. I don't know how. He ordered me to…end things.' He finally met the other man's eyes, willing him to understand. What he saw gave him hope. There was still hurt, and no small amount of anger, but something had changed.

'Bird in a cage,' Sasuke murmured, tracing the seal once again. 'What happens when it's activated?'

'I don't know exactly,' Neji itched to cover it back up again, 'it causes immense pain. Death, if they want.'

'Have you...' he breathed, 'have you felt it?'

'Yes.' He recalled it well. It was not an experience he ever cared to relive. Though it left no lasting damage, he remembered feeling as though his veins were on fire. As if every muscle, nerve, every cell was burning and freezing at the same time. There was no relief from it, and there was no bearing it. Hardened Shinobi lost all dignity when subjected to it. Neji had never cried or screamed, at least not out loud, but he was one of very few.

'How many times?' Sasuke's teeth were clenched again; a vein was throbbing in his temple. Neji knew however that this time the anger wasn't directed at him. The thought warmed him considerably.

'A few.' Neji looked away, clutching his headband that little bit tighter.

'How many?' Sasuke slid a hand under his chin and forced him to meet his eyes.

'…ten.' He admitted softly, 'I can bear it, and I would again if that were all it was. But the punishment for our crime is death.'

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. His fists clenched, his fingernails digging into the soft skin of his palms. When he was sure he wouldn't explode, he opened his eyes.

'We haven't committed a crime.'

'In their eyes, we have.' Neji placed his headband back over his seal and tied the ends under his hair.

'And in yours?' Sasuke brushed his fingers gently along Neji's neck; his gaze was tender once again.

'What does it matter?' Neji said wearily, 'I have no choice.'

'We can find a way.' The Uchiha's dark eyes were alight. 'Neji,' he caressed his cheek, 'I don't care if we have to hide under a fucking rock for the rest of our lives. We _will_ find a way.'

'I want to believe you,' Neji glanced away. 'I just don't know if I can.' It all seemed so hopeless to him. He'd been struggling with destiny his whole life, and here it was once again. It seemed everywhere he turned, the universe rose to place obstacles in his way.

'Then don't,' Sasuke moved closer, 'just trust me.'

Neji leaned into his touch; drawing comfort from his strength.

'I'll figure it out,' Sasuke whispered. He dropped his head onto Neji's shoulder, burying his face in his neck. Neji wrapped his arms around him, dropping his own head to rest on the Uchiha's. It was one of the rare times that Sasuke showed a need for comfort. The pain and angst of the last few months had taken its toll on the both of them.

'Every day without you,' Sasuke murmured, '…I can't even begin to describe it.'

'I know.' Neji didn't even care that people were stopping to look at them. He remained still; holding Sasuke, until the other man finally lifted his head. He met the dark, passionate, gaze that never failed to captivate him and saw himself reflected within it. Not just his image, but his soul. He'd been trying, these past few months, to live without what he now realised was a part of himself. He'd ultimately failed because it couldn't be done. No one could live without their heart, or brain, and Sasuke, to him, was just as vital an organ. Hiashi couldn't be right. Sasuke was. What they were doing, feeling, wasn't wrong. How could it be? How could something that felt so right, so natural, be wrong? How could he be expected to live while missing a part of himself? Looking into Sasuke's eyes, he could see he felt it too.

'Whatever it takes,' he promised, 'I'll never leave you again.'

'I'd never let you.' Sasuke leant his forehead against Neji's.

Neji drew back and gazed at his lover. Everything was perfect in that one, single, moment. He committed it to memory. Then he glanced around and, in full view of the world, leant in and kissed him soundly.

'Let's go home,' he said against his lips.

He had made his choice. Perhaps death awaited him. If it did, he would face it gladly with Sasuke at his side.


End file.
